Review: Fully Known Personalized Coaching

(this review is compensated in the form of a handful of free coaching sessions)

The “personal coaching” ecosystem is a useful place to go looking if you’re interested in solving some kind of tricky personal problem via methods not legible to insurance companies. You don’t need credentials to start charging money for your coaching services, so if you think you’re on to something new/interesting/exciting, you can just do that, no gatekeeping. This has its advantages, but if you’re on the client side, filtering for competent practitioners gets dicey. Maybe 60% of it is obvious slop? 70%? I think highly enough of my own taste that I might bet that number goes down to 50% in my own social circles. But there are a lot of coaches. That’s a lot of slop.

A few months ago, my friend Stephen asked if I would be interested in doing a review of the coaching service he’s been working with/for, in exchange for a few free sessions. I am deeply and irrationally uncomfortable with marketing, but Stephen is, frankly, on my short list of people to consult with if my kid is ever diagnosed with a complex rare disease or if an opaque but loadbearing bureaucratic entity accidentally marks me deceased. I’ve known him for, good god, eight years now, and we’ve both been on some kind of “solve my weirdly intractable personal challenges” path for much of that time. I’ve watched him tease apart the real from the bullshit in multiple fields/practices known for being nebulous and full of grifters, and get real practical value out of each of them. I figured he was probably on to something here, too.

So: I have had two free coaching sessions with Nick Grant at Fully Known. Despite being a few months postpartum, sleep deprived, grappling with intense hormonal issues that are only just now resolving, and still grieving my mother after her death last spring, I made tangible progress on half a dozen sticky problems almost immediately after those sessions.

The first was in October, and the second was in early December. I:

• almost immediately quit nicotine (gum, vape) relatively straightforwardly; I’ve struggled off and on with this for a few years now.

• actually handled all of the pragmatic steps involved in getting medical help when my hormones went insane (verdict: postpartum thyroiditis, which seems to be resolving on its own).

• started lifting again; I have been as consistent as I can be with a toddler and an infant for three months now, making time for it about twice a week. I’m also doing more cardio, and I’ve never liked cardio this much before.

• cut my caffeine intake back dramatically just to see if it would help my mood swings (it did), a kind of experiment I’ve never been able to stick with without unsustainable levels of peer support.

• only procrastinated on writing this review for six weeks when fitting the task into my schedule became overwhelming, instead of avoiding everyone involved for 6-12 months and then having a big crying fit and reaching out to apologize. I haven’t even been avoiding Stephen socially.

• actually made the phone calls I was having trouble making for months.

• reduced my sensory distress over my kids making noise and crying by about 30%, if I had to put a number on it.

• productively worked with my husband on rearranging our house so that everyone has a room where they can get sleep away from the occasionally noisy baby, instead of feeling weird and guilty and acting like I didn’t actually want or need that kind of help.

Nick was professional, grounded, creative, and attuned, without introducing any interpersonal snarls common in therapeutic or pseudo-therapeutic settings. He knows what he’s doing, and can do it without being weird (surprisingly rare in this space!). Getting something out of a coaching session with Nick did not require me to buy into any specific theories or frameworks, divulge any information I didn’t feel like divulging, or drop any of my emotional guarding that I didn’t want to drop. He basically hangs out, acts normal and comfortable, and gently draws one’s attention to different phenomena without forcing any particular interpretation or disconnecting at any point. Again, this is a rare skillset.

I believe the bulk of their work involves dating/relationship coaching, but I’m a stay-at-home mother in my 30s and don’t see any reason they couldn’t help with other kinds of problems. The issues I wanted to tackle at the start of each call were 1) feeling too antsy about the prospect of my kids making a lot of noise whenever I wanted to take a break, a shower, whatever, and 2) couldn’t figure out why I hadn’t made a medical appointment for one of the kids for a minor but somewhat distressing-to-me issue that I would really like to get resolved. I made immediate and long-term progress on both.

I would happily recommend at least trying them out, if you are in Austin, TX, or if you are amenable to a video call. I would especially recommend them if you generally feel uncomfortable with therapeutic settings but still think you might benefit from something in that family, and/or if you are incredibly busy and can’t afford some big dramatic process that might destabilize your daily life. The sessions were only 45-60 minutes long, and did not result in feeling too emotionally drained to function for the rest of the day. My affiliate link is here if you want to give them a try before they realize how good they are and raise their prices¹.

1. I would like to edit this review a lot more for readability, but my 3yo just walked up to me with a fever and I think it’s strep, dammit. ah well. first draft last draft get it out the door. <3